13/10/06 - The end of the week

So. It's the end of the first week at uni. I've achieved quite a lot - I've signed up 
to three socities and I think I'll at least properly join two of them. I've gotten 
back in contact with a good friend of mine. I've managed to already organise 
my homework scedule and, most importantly I think, I've come to a conclusion 
about what I'm going to do with my future. And both Sean and my parents 
approve. Infact, my parents were a lot more approving than I thought they 
were going to be. Oh, let's not forget that Sean and I have been talking a lot 
about our future.

A couple of nights ago I couldn't sleep and when I asked Sean if he was still awake, he said he was nearly asleep. So I decided to not talk about our talk a week ago. But he pressed me to voice what was on my mind. So I did. To begin 
with, it felt as if I was going to break down in tears again. But I didn't. In fact, 
it turned out to be a deep conversation about our relationship, with none of the
hurting like before. It felt good to talk to him. In the end I voiced something that
had been bugging me for a while, "And the D/s?" I asked. I wanted to know if it was something he seriously considered to be 
part of our relationship, if it really was something he saw as taking place outside 
the bedroom. He said that he felt that it'll help our relationship, at least in the 
next few years while I'm still at Uni. He said it was something that'll keep me 
disciplined, and I agree fully. In fact, it's something I've been thinking about 
more since we answered the Weekender Question on S&M Blog a while back, 
of "How far do you want to take the master/sub thing?" Sean answered that he wanted:

"a very obedient, happy and loving slave. I want Mel to do her chores and clean up behind herself without me having to tell her to. I want her to become a tidier, more organised person, more for her sake than mine. I want her to be open and honest, and not afraid to share her mind, no matter how dark her thoughts. I want her to ask for my guidance when she needs it, and to really listen to the advice I give. I want a much larger list of rules that we have both agreed upon. I want to know that any concerns that either of us have can be openly expressed and discussed, and be solved between us." 

This whole statement is something I want to strive for. It's what I want out of 
our D/s too. And this was confirmed when we talked. 

So there are many things that are currently right with our relationship. There
are niggles. And they're not going to go away unless I learn to tell Sean about them rather than letting them build up. One of the niggles was about the washing up, the fact that he 
lets it build up over 24 hours and then does most of it. But that's been resolved, 
even if it did take an argument to resolve it, due to my not mentioning it until it 
really bugged me. But it's done. And I need to learn to tell him of my niggles 
before they build up again.